Someday When I Stop Loving You
by lokiyan
Summary: There was no easy way to recover from having your world shatter beneath your feet. Maureen. Tripp. Serena. One-shot


A/N: Can you tell how much I hate this storyline? Team Maureen! Title derived from Carrie Underwood's song of the same title on her new album. I was listening to it when I wrote this up quickly. I usually don't like the style of inserting song lyrics in the middle of stories, but I had to credit it somehow, since it did influence the outcome a lot.

Someday When I Stop Loving You

He was her everything.

From the moment she said "I do," Maureen was certain that he was the one. In fact, she had never been more certain and true about anything else in her life. Above her family legacy, her personal problems, there was him. She would do anything for him. For them.

She remembered when the news of Blair and Nate's breakup echoed in whispered tones through gossiping wives. It was a shame - the girl seemed so smitten - but in the end she comforted herself with the fact that perhaps it was just puppy love after all. She and Tripp were nothing like them. They talked about their future all the time. In school, they'd squeeze into the cramped dorm bed and keep warm when the heater broke. They were different.

Turns out they weren't, after all.

_One foot on the bus 'bout half past nine,_

_I knew that you were leaving this time._

_I thought about laying down in its path,_

_Thinking that you might get off for that._

He didn't trust her, it turned out, for a mistake she made for them. But let's be honest, there were signs even before. Serena van der Woodsen was only first girl to act on it. Then she will be the next girl to think that he's the one.

Maureen was never a big drinker, but that night, after she signed away her vows, she drank. Barefoot on the floor with her back against their marriage bed, she drank from the bottle with mascara running down her cheeks. Her maid of honor sat with her. Had it really only been a year? "Get up. You can do better than him."

She lulled her head back against the soft sheets. He made love to her on those sheets.

_I remember that night we laid in bed,  
Naming all our kids that we hadn't had yet._

_One for your grandma and one for mine_

_Said we'd draw straws when it came time._

"Do you think he's crying and drinking over you right now? _Get up_."

There was a frustrated sigh and rustling and the next thing she knew, her wedding gown laid gingerly on her bed. Her princess dress, her father had called it. Anna put a pair of scissors in her hand and led the blade toward the chiffon hem. "Rip it."

Her past laid in shreds like fresh snow in the fireplace. It burned like a giant star.

_I'll move on, baby, just like you._

_When the desert floods and the grass turns blue_

_When a sailing ship don't need her moon._

_It'll break my heart, but I'll get through._

_Someday when I stop loving you._

She retreated to her Connecticut home but there was no escaping them. She was prone to dizzy spells as a child but the flash of photographers' bulbs and the yelled questions even as she just tried to get out of the car made it even more difficult to stand tall. Her father's security reinforced the gates but it crept into her home like mist. Pictures of the scandal covered the front pages - Newly Elected Congressman Leaves Wife for 18-year-old Socialite. They always looked like they were hiding: faces down, sunglasses, trench coats. Like their terrible secret was just exposed and now they didn't know what to do.

Good, they didn't deserve to be happy.

_I bet all I had on a thing called love._

_I gues sin the end it wasn't enough._

_And it's hard to watch you leave right now_

_I'm gonna have to learn to let you go somehow._

She went riding for the first time in ages when the press moved on to focus on the latest Jon and Kate scandal. She crouched on the saddle and prepared for the jump. The landing was shaking, but she was ready now.

And again.

She met Michael at her father's job. She was working in the PR department and he strolled in like he knew everything. Even she believed it. He was older and just a bit wiser with his wild days behind him, leaving laugh lines around his mouth and kind creases around the corners of his green eyes.

The next election rolled around and this time, Nate wasn't there to save the whole thing. Serena had fled two months after the end of their marriage and he was known for his affair more than his politics. The Buckleys reprinted the headlines over and over and suddenly, New York realized that he was just some kid who graduated from law school with no experience except that of being a Vanderbilt and having a pretty face. That and the fact that men cheat. Shocker.

She saw him through the window front of a restaurant. He sat at the bar, his shoulders hunched and looking more defeated than she had ever seen him. His handsome features sullen and his tie loosened, she hardly recognized him through the fog of her breath in the chilled November air.

Michael slipped a hand around her bulging belly and gave her a kiss on the cheek before leading her across the street with a hand on the small of her aching back.

He was nothing to her now.

_I'll move on, baby, just like you._

_When the desert floods and the grass turns blue_

_When a sailing ship don't need her moon._

_It'll break my heart, but I'll get through._

_Someday when I stop loving you._


End file.
